Social and emotional delay in children

What every parent should know

Dr Praful Gowda

3 min read

What Is Social and Emotional Development?

Social and emotional development refers to how your child learns to:

  • Connect with others

  • Understand and express emotions

  • Build relationships

  • Cope with challenges and frustration

From smiling back at you as a baby to sharing toys with a friend, these skills form the foundation for how your child behaves, learns, and interacts with the world.

Why Does It Matter?

Social and emotional skills are as important as talking and walking. They help your child:

  • Feel secure and confident

  • Play and make friends

  • Manage emotions and behavior

  • Adapt to preschool or daycare

  • Build healthy long-term mental health

Delays in these areas can lead to behavioral problems, school difficulties, or even signs of conditions like autism or anxiety if not identified early.

What Is a Social and Emotional Delay?

A social-emotional delay means your child is not showing expected emotional responses or social interaction for their age. This might look like:

  • Not smiling, making eye contact, or showing affection

  • Not responding to people around them

  • Not playing with others

  • Not showing interest in emotions or pretend play

These delays can appear in infants, toddlers, or preschoolers—and often overlap with communication or behavioral challenges.

Typical Social-Emotional Milestones

Here’s what healthy social and emotional growth looks like at different ages:

0–3 months - Smiles in response to faces, calms when comforted

4–6 months - Laughs out loud, responds to affection

6–12 months - Stranger anxiety, plays peek-a-boo, expresses joy

12–18 months - Imitates caregivers, brings toys to show, seeks comfort

2 years - Begins parallel play, shows frustration, uses simple emotions

3 years - Takes turns in play, begins pretend play, shows empathy

4–5 years - Plays cooperatively, understands rules, controls emotions better

Red Flags for Social and Emotional Delay

By 6 Months:

  • Doesn’t smile at people

  • Doesn’t respond to your voice or face

By 12 Months:

  • No response to name

  • Doesn’t show affection or interest in people

  • No peek-a-boo or shared play

By 18–24 Months:

  • Doesn’t point, show, or bring things to share

  • Doesn’t imitate simple actions

  • Avoids eye contact

  • Prefers being alone most of the time

By 3 Years:

  • Doesn’t play alongside or show interest in other children

  • No pretend play (e.g., feeding a doll)

  • Shows little emotion or inappropriate responses

  • Doesn’t express feelings clearly

By 4–5 Years:

  • Can’t take turns or follow simple group play

  • Has frequent, extreme tantrums that are hard to manage

  • Doesn’t show empathy or awareness of others’ feelings

  • Avoids interaction, shows rigid behaviors, or has poor emotional control

If your child shows more than one of these signs, especially if they persist across months, it’s time to seek help.

What Can Cause Social and Emotional Delays?

Delays in this area may result from:

  • Autism spectrum disorder

  • Speech or language delay

  • Hearing or vision impairment

  • Neglect or low stimulation

  • Genetic or neurological conditions

  • Anxiety or trauma exposure

  • Parent–child interaction difficulties

In many children, there is no one clear cause—but early support can still make a huge difference.

When Should You Be Concerned?

Speak to your pediatrician if:

  • Your baby is not socially responsive by 6–9 months

  • Your toddler avoids eye contact or shows little interest in others

  • Your preschooler doesn't play, interact, or show emotions like peers

  • Your child has ongoing meltdowns, fears, or rigidity that interfere with daily life

Don’t wait for school to raise a concern—you know your child best.

Who Can Help?

  • Pediatrician – for screening and initial guidance

  • Developmental Pediatrician – for full assessment

  • Child Psychologist or Counselor – for emotional and behavioral therapy

  • Speech Therapist – if interaction issues are linked to communication delay

  • Occupational Therapist – for play-based skill building and regulation

  • Early Intervention Team – if child is under 6 years old

What Can You Do as a Parent?

You are your child’s first social world. Here’s how you can help every day:

  • Spend face-to-face time with eye contact, smiles, and play

  • Name and talk about emotions: “You look sad,” “That made you happy!”

  • Model and teach sharing, turn-taking, and saying sorry

  • Use pretend play with dolls, animals, or kitchen sets

  • Stay consistent with routines, comfort, and gentle discipline

  • Limit screen time and increase live, responsive interaction

If your child is in therapy, your home interaction plays a huge role in progress.

Will My Child Catch Up?

With early support, many children improve social and emotional skills and thrive in school and relationships. Some may need longer-term help—but starting early builds stronger outcomes.

It’s not your fault—and it’s never too early to help your child connect with the world.

Key Takeaways for Parents

  • Social and emotional growth is not automatic—it needs nurturing

  • Don’t ignore red flags like poor eye contact or lack of pretend play

  • Early signs of autism often show up as social-emotional delays

  • Support works best when started before school age

  • Loving, face-to-face interaction is your child’s best therapy

Free Download

Social-Emotional Milestone Checklist (0–5 Years)

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